I HAVE SUFFERED DEPRESSION MOST OF MY LIFE! And I am not ashamed to admit it.
Some may even say I’ve been “crazy”. Not ashamed of that either.
I fully believe that Satan wants us to feel shame. God gives us remorse for things we’ve done wrong, but shame doesn’t come from Him. If Satan can keep us buried in shame, we aren’t moving forward to become what God wants us to become.
I was sexually abused as a child.
I was wanted to die. I contemplated suicide many times before I was twelve years old. I used to sit in front of my mirror and pull my hair, telling myself how ugly, fat and stupid I was.
I actually had fantasies of being kidnapped and killed.
I pretended, as well as I could, that all was well.
I knew that I was worthless. Unworthy of love. And for most of my life, I believed this.
Some how, living in this hell, I found a wonderful man and he agreed to marry me. And more importantly, he stayed married to me. Sometimes I wonder how. I have not always been kind, or probably even sane, many of the years we’ve been married. Then, to add to that, I’ve been sick most of my life. Not little ailments here and there. I mean, fall down, dying sick.
Miraculously, he stayed with me and loved me through it all. Fortunately, I have learned to overcome my limiting beliefs that have facilitated and triggered my depression. I am now living in a world of peace and love. Love for myself. Love from others. And a knowledge that my Heavenly Father and Savior both love me. I live with the knowledge that I am liked and cared for.
Having spent so many years miserable, I can honestly say, the grass is greener on this side of the fence. But, I want all you who haven’t crossed over yet to a life of joy, I want you to know that I love you and wish you support.
I want to tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Depression, mental illnesses, and any kind of emotional distress is NORMAL. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE ASHAMED!
My goal is to stop the shame! I want you to accept that we all have something mental, emotional, or spiritually wrong with us. We all do! No one is free from it. So, like I said, no reason to have shame.
If you are struggling, I wish you peace and joy. And stay tuned on Thursdays for how I overcame my depression.